Strange But True

By | December 1, 2013
From Xplor: December 2013/January 2014

Critters don't make New Year's resolutions. But if they did, here's what a few might say.

  • Woodhouse toad My goal is to lay 25,000 eggs this spring. I’ll need lots of offspring because most of my tadpole toddlers will be snarfed up by predators.
  • Turkey vulture My goal is to try new foods. I’ll eat anything — skunks, birds, snakes, fish, frogs, snails, rotten fruit, even worms — as long as it’s dead.
  • Timber rattlesnake I plan to stockpile enough venom in my glands to kill 3,000 deer mice. But since I’ll eat only 20 meals next year, I won’t need to use much of it.
  • Bumblebee I plan to be extra buzzy — and busy — in 2014. I’ll need to be if I hope to meet my goal of visiting 500 flowers a day.
  • Hickory horned devil I may start off itty-bitty, but I hope to grow as big as a hot dog and become Missouri’s largest larva. If you grew as much as I plan to grow, you’d be 30 feet tall.
  • Rainbow trout My resolution is simple: survive trout-fishing season at Bennett Springs State Park. To do that, I’ll need to dodge nearly 150,000 anglers.
  • Eastern cottontail I plan to poop a lot — nearly 350 pellets every day, in fact. If you lined my pellets end to end, by next New Year’s my poop should stretch half a mile.
  • Striped skunk In a year’s time, I’ll produce enough scent to fill a soda can. But don’t dare pop the top! That much funky fluid could leave 200 coyotes drenched in stench.

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This Issue's Staff

David Besenger
Les Fortenberry
Karen Hudson
Regina Knauer
Noppadol Paothong
Marci Porter
Mark Raithel
Laura Scheuler
Matt Seek
Tim Smith
David Stonner
Nichole LeClair Terrill
Stephanie Thurber
Cliff White